Notable Notes

I have a box in the basement that contains choice notes from junior high and high school, with some letters sent to me while at college thrown in for good measure. Whenever grown-up life seems too boring, I just go check out the drama of my youth. Some of my favorites include:

• The angry ex-boyfriend note, which states, "You really know how to hurt a guy, wearing my favorite pants the day after you broke up with me." The pants in question were skin-tight blue velvet Jou-Jous, and the boy in question had every right to be pissed at me, since I decided I liked him, enticed him to break up with his long-term girlfriend, and dumped him all in a matter of a week or so.
• The here's why I wasn't speaking to you before note, which says, "I'm not mad at you or anything, I just can't stand to be around you when I'm stoned. So if you ever see that my eyes are red and I'm acting funny, just stay away." Not only did I think this was a reasonable explanation of the guy's behavior at the time, I actually followed the instructions to a T.
• The most romantic note ever, which declared, "The skates and axe aren't enough anymore. I've found something better." That something better was me, and the fact that I had surpassed the guy's rollerblades and bass guitar in his heart made mine melt.
• The still makes me laugh mispellings and all note, which says, "I'm only writing to you because Fungi hast to be the boringest."

What's in your basement?

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