The Difference Between Men and Women

Last week, my husband and I were in Cabo with a dozen of our favorite people. Stationed at the pool of a beautiful resort, we were sunbathing and dunking off our hangovers. Mostly, we had the place to ourselves; there was just one other couple there, plus a lone woman in a teeny-tiny pink bikini.

The men were ogling teeny-tiny bikini; the women were ogling the male half of the couple. The chick was blond (of course) with the body of a stripper, was showing lots of it. The guy was tall, lean but muscular, had a few well-placed tattoos and his hair cropped so close to his head it was more like five o'clock shadow than a buzz cut. In short, he was a god. An Adonis. Looked like the papparazzi should be following him around. So everyone was happy.

But then teeny-tiny pink bikini and Hot Guy opened their mouths and spoke. Both sounded equally unintelligent. It was the Mars-Venus reaction to it that was totally different: The women were completely turned off, done with the dude.The guys? More turned on than ever.

Go figure. All our fantasies of this guy were gone once we heard his overwhelming Jersey accent and grammatically incorrect sentences. And the men in our group were sporting wood because teeny-tiny bikini had spouted the following phrases:

"Do you pee in the pool?"
"Want to suck my lime?"
"I just saw two crabs screwing!"
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" and
"You want me to slap you around?"

So what's that all about?

Comments

[Declan]

I think there are two things at work here, both having to do with how men imagine a fantasy encounter with a bikini-clad bimbo. One is, even in fantasies, how is a fortysomething guy going to get a twentysomething hottie into bed if he's not a rock or movie star? Well, if she's stupid, maybe she can be tricked into bed with a guy way less attractive than she is!

Also, in a man's fantasy, he doesn't want to have to have a conversation with the fanasy babe--he wants to nail her and have her disappear, or better yet, turn into a 42-inch plasma tv and hang herself on the wall. A stupid woman fulfills this fantasy more easily--she probably won't turn into a tv, but if she's too dumb to hold a conversation, she probably wouldn't bug you with post-coital yakking about what it all means.